Confessions of a pregnant lady

36 weeks!

I'm not one of those people who pretends to be happy 24/7. I have hormones and emotions.
A lot of them. Give me a break, I am pregnant after all.
Some people may know exactly what I'm talking about and have advice.
Other's may be going through it right now.

Last week was a rollercoaster of emotions. The worst part of the entire pregnancy. So far.

I'm still betting that labour will be the worst. I have no pain tolerance, you see.

Back to last week. Nine months of hormones squished into 7 long days.

Not cool.
I was a hormonal and emotional bitch to say the least.

Crying.
Yelling.
Panicking.
Anxious.

 

 

It was a combination of things.

Hormones + emotions + husband being away + being alone too much + reality sinking in.

- I'm going to have a baby.

- I'm going to be a mommy.

- We're going to be a family.

I have no idea what I'm doing!!

I've never been around babies!!

 

I did a lot of reflecting of my childhood.

In my eyes, it was perfect...until I was 9 when my parents screwed it up by divorcing.
 

- I had 2 amazing parents.

- I had loving grandparents whom I adored.

- I had an older brother who I idolized.

- I had pets.

- I had a home.

- I had clothes on my back, food on the table, and heat keeping me warm.

- We had family dinners and spent every weekend/holiday with my grandparents/family.

- I went sledding, skating, bike riding, made forts, and all kinds of kid things.

What if I screw this up?

 I had innocence. See?

 

Of course my husband came to the rescue... after my last and most brutal meltdown.

Sorry babe. It's technically half your fault.

How many kids do you want?

 

After a long conversation, he made me realize a few things:

 

- These emotions are completely normal.

- Being scared and anxious means I'm going to be a good mother because I care.

- I cannot have my childhood back but we will do our best for our child(ren).

- No matter what, my husband is here to stay. Brave man, just kidding.

- WE are going to be great parents because we're a team.

- I love my husband more today than I did a couple of days ago. He's my rock.

- I need to communicate more... in a non screaming crying kind of way.

- I need to ask for help when I feel overwhelmed.

- We have some family nearby which is better than no family 2 years ago.

- I have some pretty amazing friends.

- Spring/summer is coming which means sunshine and warmth! Woohoo!

 

I feel much better now.